Balancing Act..

I am exhausted. Simply trying to balance - balance work with health, balance relationships and balance life. Just how easy is it for people to say: Balance is the key! Prioritise! For anyone and everyone who ever reads this, if balance was so smooth and so effortless to muster, there'd be no imbalance in life, would there? And trust me, balance is not something that's easy to come.

Balancing the thread of life - I just hope I learn that soon enough. I still struggle, and desperately so. I'm still wearing my balancing shoes and I have a few more lessons to go before I become a pro. If I ever do, that is...

Choices

You know the most difficult thing to achieve, I've realised, is to make choices and that too the right ones.
It's almost a battle striving to achieve this equilibrim...a state of well-being where you know you're not hurting others and you're happy too. But to my dismay, I have conceived that there is no such state of being. Because with every step, you make a choice. And in the process you hurt some people and delight others. And the worst part is if anyone has to make the choice, it's YOU and only you!
Sometimes I feel, people spend a substantial amount of time making these choices. But what's the criteria? My happiness? My parents...my partner...my friends...Whose happiness are you pursuing?
The simple straight-forward answer would probably be of course, 'me' and noone else. But my dear readers, life's never been so uncomplicated in the first place. If it's only me, then aren't you being selfish and self-centred? So, then who? Parents? Yes, they are very important but so is your partner and your friends, etc etc etc.
That brings me back the perplexing question once again. How do you make a choice?
Prioritise would probably be it. But that, again isn't that discreet. On what basis do you prioritise...what you want, parents want, peers want...
I feel trapped in this whirlpool of choices...Is there really a way out? Am I making the right choices, after all?

Happy Anniversary

To Mum (Mom) And Dad

I spent many happy days
In the arms of another man's wife
And I was comforted and protected
By that man in my life
As it happens, I call them Mum (Mom) and Dad
And on your Anniversary I'd like to say
Thanks muchly to the both of you
Enjoy your special day
Happy Wedding Anniversary

Tiring tides....

Have you ever reached a point in your life when all you want to do is just go to sleep? And you don't quite know when you'd actually want to wake up. That state, whether it's common or not, is something I am desperately experiencing now, today, this hour, this minute and moment.
I just want to stop. Like how a period works at the end of a sentence. I am exhausted. And that's probably an understatement. I have reached the state of zombie-dom!
It's that point when you want to give up on everything, and it stems, I realise from tiredness - the energy to push yourself beyond and reach out satiated, you no longer have the urge to do the 'pushing' anymore.
And God knows, I really have no idea how to 'push' myself now. Should I just let go, let things be, let calm encompass me the way destiny holds, or should I still fight?
Exhausted indeed, I am.

Dancing to the beat

It's strange how you meet people and then there comes a point in time you know you will probably not meet them ever...in your lifetime. And nothing seems to change, you just move on with the flow, get back to normalcy and meet some more people.
In the last few months I have met so many such people, seen so many faces. And yet I know, only a few I will remember and even fewer I will be in touch with. Are we living in a superficial world imbued with cynicism. I know not if its generic. But it definitley seems relevant to me.
Life goes on...unstoppable...in its own rhythm and we all try too hard to dance right to that beat.

Giving Makes Me feel guilty

I seem to have a calling to help people in need, I love the way it makes me feel. I do my good deeds in secret not expecting anything in return, just the warm feeling it gives me. Then I feel guilty for feeling good because that's a reward and I don't need to be rewarded. Does this make sense?

Lonely

Even when I am surrounded by family and friends, I feel dislocated. It haunts me...this itchiness of not belonging anywhere, yet being somewhere. I try my level best to consume my surroundings, be a part of where I am, but incongruably I can never feel static. It's motion that drives me, gearing for the next big challenge, the next big change...will there ever come a time when I want to halt, take a breather, live life in one place...I doubt if that time's going to be anytime soon...